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Saturday, October 21, 2006

A surreal evening

I went to a friend's party on Friday night after I finished work. It's been three weeks since I moved to Ipswich and I haven't seen any of my friends in that time, so, I was due for some catching up and socialising.

These parties are normally quite riotous and fun. But this one wasn't. Sure the party was toned down a lot from what we normally have, but the people were still there that I wanted to see. The main problem was the two sisters that were there.

You see, one of the sisters, (lets call her Girl A for the sake of privacy),is the woman I am slowly but surely falling for. She lives at the house where the party was being held. I was really looking forward to seeing her because we have both been extremely busy lately and haven't had time to catch up at all.

The other sister, (Girl B), is what I can only describe as my first real love. Unrequited as that love may have been, it was still the very first time that I can remember being head over heels, follow her anywhere, do anything for her in love with this girl.

Nothing ever happened between the two of us. I spent years trying my damnedest to win her over but it never worked.

A few weeks ago I was talking to Girl A at a party and she mentioned that she had a crush on me ever since I first met both of them 12 years ago. We talked for an hour or so about things and she told me that the reason she had never done anything to act on the crush was because of how I felt about Girl B. She was worried that I would put her sister first before her, and that she would always be second best in my eyes. A fear that I told her was unfounded, now. Two years ago, or even twelve months ago it might have been different. But, in the last 12 months I had seen her grow into an amazing woman, who could stand on her own two feet.

She challenges me every time I am around her. I feel more confident, and at the same time, more vulnerable when I am with her. I feel happier in her company than I have felt in any other relationship in my life, ever.

As I sat in the lounge room talking to the two of them until the early hours of Saturday morning I realised something.  For the first time in twelve years I didn't feel my heart twist up into knots when I saw my first love.  Instead I looked at the two of them, listened to them talking and found that I was seeing all the faults that I had ignored in the last twelve years in one of them, and found all the things I am looking for in the other.

The whole night definitely ranked up there as one of the strangest nights of my life. I had to constantly double check myself in case I was showing too much attention to Girl B. Every time I started to get into a good conversation with Girl A her sister would butt in looking for the attention I used to give to her.

Very strange indeed.

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Lily said...

Now this is the good stuff! Can't wait for the next instalment....

Bonez said...

I'm beginning to notice a trend. When I am in some form of emotional torment, my blog is interesting.


Thanks for reading Lily, I'm glad someone is interested in what I write.

Yvette said...

I enjoyed this post. It's fascinating to hear about a man's emotions, usually they appear to have none. Thank you for the insight. ~yvette~

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