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Monday, September 04, 2006

Today I watched ants..

Today I watched ants. I sat on a bench outside work to have a smoke and saw hundreds of ants trekking back and forth across the concrete. They ran almost randomly between their nest and wherever their food was today. I could see some of them getting lost. They would lose the scent trail briefly and would run around in circles until they got back on track.

As I walked back inside I noticed a single ant on the garden edging. He was metres from the rest of the ants. All alone.

The whole thing made me think. Do I act like the ants who lost the trail when I question where I am going in my life? I tend to get caught in cycles that go round endlessly, and stay that way for quite a while. Eventually, I always seem to figure out where I am supposed to go. The trail becomes clear again.

But what about the ant out by himself? Is he truly lost, worried that he has no idea where he came from or where he is going? Or, perhaps, he is the explorer, blazing a new trail, discovering a place that the other ants have never seen.

I guess I've always wanted to be that trail blazing ant. I'm tired of going where everyone else is headed. I want to stop running around in circles every time I get lost. The next time I lose the trail, I want to just blaze my own. Maybe people will follow me, maybe they won't. But at least I will end up somewhere that no one has been before me.

Either that or I will end up lost and alone. Therein lies the real risk.


Lily said...

Synchronicity rules - last week I had ants in my pants, this week they've migrated to your neck of the woods. Perhaps its a symbol of my relinquishing running round in cirles as a lifestyle choice; now I'm the solitary ant watching the world go by, missing the frenetic activity a little but not the angst. Go ahead, try the road less travelled, if you get lost you can always find your way back. I did.

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